Moving here soon

so I can post with out someone looking over my shoulder...I sooo can't wait!

Ya know

My sister and I was talking and she said I was never really that heavy till I broke up with my b/f back in the 90's...and thinking on it, I was sooo miserable I wanted to move to the mid west with my Aunt at the time...It was horrible and could have been why I have spiraled since.

You know what I hate?

I hate every time I eat I have to sleep...I think that is the reason I try not to eat so I don't eat.  How crazy is that?

Yuck

Have to go get family pictures done, meaning with my 3 sisters and brother.  Not sure what I am looking most forward too, The picture taking itself or being told off...SIGH

Well,

Went to "Workforce" today to take a class called Skills and Abilities.  Had to write what they call a 60 second commercial about myself and I was having so much self doubt that I was in tears.  The instructor came over and I explained what has been going on and she said that I was brave and courageous...Me?  Kinda made me feel good

So what have I eaten today?

Well, had my 2 cups of coffee and ate 2 bowls of my sisters rice...minute rice and cream of mushroom soup baked and Diet Pepsi

Amazing how a good day can turn to hell

I just found out that my unemployment ran out.  What the hell am I gonna do now?  SIGH!

Good Morning!

I feel good today but that could be because of Bin Laden getting a bullet to the brain...I am right now heating up coffee for the 2nd time as someone unplugged the coffee pot.  SIGH!  Of course everyone would think of themselves instead of others...maybe I need to learn to be selfish...Now there's a thought...

2nd Meal Today

Had 2 sandwiches...PB and J with Margarine...Light spread on everything

ok here is my first food entry

So had a can of Chef Boyardee's Beef Ravioli with some cheese and I am drinking a can of Diet Pepsi

Welcome to my blog

I need to put into words how I am feeling about myself.  I feel horrendous, embarrassed, and all around awful.  See I can't find a job and I am now officially afraid to go out of my house and into the public.  I am "obese" you see and I am always judged on how I look and when you have no confidence in yourself it makes it hard to really do anything.  Yes I have a feeling I am depressed which really doesn't help anything but no job means no insurance which means I am SOL in that department.  My plans for this blog is to hopefully kick me in the ass and get busy losing weight so I can get a life...I do not have that right now...I would call it existing and that is just not enough.  With this blog I will show what I eat and how often I eat (believe it or not I don't eat that much during the day.)  As of right now I have had 1 and a 1/2 cups of coffee and it is 2:18PM but hungry right now.  :SHRUG:  So there is a comment button below this post if you chose to use it but please don't leave mean comments.  How would that be helpful to a person who might be depressed?

Staci